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The current period signifies a full decade since the word “ghosting” entered the mainstream. At the time, the notion that someone could instantly end communication with a romantic interest without explanation seemed like the pinnacle of indignity. How naive we were. In the decade since, seeking a significant other has only become more perplexing – an oftentimes pointless pursuit in embarrassment that is increasingly pigeonholed by social media lingo.

Generation Z, a generation who grew up during a loneliness epidemic, a masculinity crisis, and a widespread attack on the rights of women and the LGBTQ+ community, faces a far messier terrain than their Gen Y predecessors could ever fathom. And so their romantic glossary has grown more extensive and more unhinged, with phrases like “Ogre-ing” and “vine swinging” testing the boundaries of your sanity.

What follows is a comprehensive breakdown to the phrases this generation is using to talk about love, sex and the quest of both. To echo one of the recent most enduring online sayings, by the conclusion of this glossary you’ll long to get back to simpler times – because wherever that is, it is free from “wokefishing”.

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A

Authenticity – According to gen Z, dating’s ultimate goal is showing up as your true, unvarnished self. You'll need it with that!

B

Feathered friend test – A online phenomenon loosely based on a test developed by relationship scientists, in which you mention something minor – for example, “A bird flew by earlier” – and note whether your date's response is interested or brushed off. If they do not want to hear more about the bird, you two are doomed.

Mysterious girlfriend – Zoomers' response to the “quirky fantasy girl” trope of the early 2000s – but instead of having short fringe, liking indie music and avoiding commitment, the black cat girlfriend focuses on her own needs while radiating mystery and independence. (She may yet have baby bangs.)

The Letter C

Chair theory – This refers to choosing someone who aids you unprompted. If you entered a room, they would get a chair for you to take a load off.

Choremance – A outing where two people bond while handling tasks, such as walking the dog or grocery shopping. In other words, how broke young adults do budget-friendly romance in a post-“$5 beer and shot combo” world.

Emotional spiral – Having a breakdown when you feel swamped by life. You can lose it over a crush or split, spilling all of your unreciprocated feelings.

D

Dink – Double income, no kids. Once a signifier of 80s young urban professional excess, it refers to pairs who opt out of parenthood to focus on their own fulfillment. Or because they find it financially impossible to become parents.

E

Emotional vibe coding – The antithesis of playing it cool: embracing communication, honesty and vulnerability.

F

Indicators

• Red flags – Behavioral habits suggesting a potential partner is trouble. For instance calling their former partners unstable, poor gratuity habits, a love of controversial director films, a burgeoning DJ career …
• Good indicators – These traits confirm your decision to pursue a mate. Such as following up to make sure you got home safe after a date, minimal screen time, having a bed frame …
• Neutral quirks – These usually describe specific, largely benign quirks. Examples include being an keen birdwatcher, still keeping a biro in their purse, paying the rent in physical money …

Shared obsession pairing – When you find someone who’s just as obsessive about documentaries about the WWII or DVD collecting or collaging or anything it may be, as you. Or, on the flip side, finding someone who hates the same stuff or individuals that you do (nothing fosters closeness faster than having a common enemy).

The Letter G

The band Geese – A band many young men likes.

Phantom reappearing – Someone who pops back into your life after a period of silence.

Loyal boyfriend – Someone who is friendly, accommodating and devoted. The rare partner who is adored by all of his partner’s friends, and a mysterious partner's counterpart.

Prolonged session enthusiasts – A mostly online subculture of men so fixated with self-pleasure that they attempt lengthy sessions, purposefully delaying climax so they can go on as long as possible.

H

Heterofatalism – A mindset describing many women's increasing cynicism toward heterosexual relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the previous entry.

Traditional ideal woman – An ideal championed by online male influencer figures: a woman who is attractive, nurturing and happily domestic, who apparently has no aspirations of her own aside from satisfying her man partner. Perhaps now you’re beginning to grasp the whole “pessimism” thing better?

The Letter I

Turn-offs – Random and often mundane turnoffs that instantly extinguish any feelings of desire.

“Actions speak louder" – Something to tell yourself after you watch someone else receive an extremely sweet act.

The Letter J

Careers – These have not been this significant in the dating scene since the Wall Street era. For some women, a “man in finance” is the ultimate catch: a fleece-vest-wearing, conservative-leaning guy who will be a provider (there’s a hit TikTok audio on the topic). Meanwhile the left-leaning crowd opt for partners in professions they believe are being staffed by the more emotionally available among us: healthcare workers, teachers or counselors.

K

Making out – This year, scientists learned that kissing has been around for 16 million years. But the era of kissing may be limited since some Zoomers desire fewer sex scenes in film, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find onscreen intimacy realistic.

Enhanced profile crafting – Catfishing-lite. Or, not exactly being dishonest about who you are, but maybe using older (better) pictures of yourself on a online profile, or making your career sound more impressive than it is. Also known as {